


/ / M I L K / /

by SeraphStarshine



Category: The 1975 (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Drinking, Drug Use, F/M, Guilt, M/M, Oral Sex, Regret, Sexual Content, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 21:56:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12491720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeraphStarshine/pseuds/SeraphStarshine
Summary: Matty is afraid of what he will say if he speaks, especially since he has George's words running through his head on a constant mantra, asking if Matty is really clean, if he means any of the promises he's made to George, which apparently he hasn't since he's breaking at least two of them right now.But if George thinks Matty is a liar, then the least he can do is prove him right. George seems to expect Matty to fail, to think his sentiments mean nothing, so fuck him.Loosely based off of the song Milk





	/ / M I L K / /

**Author's Note:**

> I literally haven't been able to write anything for months so this was sort of just a drabble to ease me back into things.
> 
> I am not sure how I feel about this honestly but I'm proud that I actually managed to finish something so I hope you all enjoy it and maybe this will get me out of my slump.

**/ / M I L K / /**

**_Straight lines that unwind you_ **  
**_She does a little thing with her eye that says, "We're off soon."_ **

Matty storms off the bus in a huff, pushing his lengthening curls out of his face in an agitated manner as he makes sure to slam the door harshly behind him, a smirk crossing his features when he hears George cursing from within.

Matty shouldn't take joy in George's distress, but he thinks it's only fair since he's caused him so much pain recently. Tonight is just adding to the growing tally that Matty has been silently keeping before exploding this evening.

And _really_ , Matty knows that the tension festering between them is his fault deep down, but he's too stubborn to admit that openly. Matty has been playing hard to get with George since they were teenagers, but of course, it's only now when Matty decides that he does want him that George seems to have changed his mind.

Matty doesn't understand what's shifted, why George is pulling back now when he was so adamant on being with Matty beforehand, but Matty manages to convince himself that he doesn't care, erasing George's words of concern and doubt with a mental wipe of his hand.

He clears his brain as he lights a cigarette and leans against the nearby chain fence that separates their vehicles from the venue they had recently finished playing at, breathing in the acrid smoke in the hopes that it'll remove the bitter tang his most recent fight with George has left on the tip of his tongue.

Matty's eyes shift upward involuntarily when he sees movement nearby, only to be met with the sight of a girl clutching a bottle of something in her gloved hand, her painted mouth gripping the lid of it as she chugs it down, her expression lighting up when she lowers the container and meets his gaze.

"Hey," she waves slowly, showing off black nails which peek out of the top of the fabric covering her fingers which seems to have been cut off purposefully. "You're Matty right?" she asks curiously, although it seems that she already knows exactly who he is.

"That's me," Matty grins smugly. It's been a few weeks since he's come out to meet fans after the show, and he forgets how addicting it is to be recognized by complete strangers. "You came to see us then?"

"I did yeah, been following you around for the past few days actually," she explains, "but this is my last show of the tour, I have to head home tomorrow, so I was celebrating."

"All by yourself?" Matty finds himself asking before he realizes what he's said.

A part of him knows he's acting idiotic and petty, and he's only going to make things worse between him and George if he spends any more time with this girl, but Matty has a habit of self-destruction, and it doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon.

"Well...I was going to meet up with some friends, but if you want company, I'd much rather spend the night with you instead."

**_She says the bleeding's incidental_ **  
**_'cause she's so cool_ **  
**_She says it's no fun if you've only a bottle of wine_ **

It seems like only moments have passed when Matty stumbles into the girl's hotel room, their lips connecting in a messy kiss as they attempt to walk forward without disconnecting their mouths.

Matty isn't sure of her name, or if she's even told him, but he does know her body is warm and soft, her shoulder-length red hair tickling at his cheek as she tugs him back toward the large bed. He follows her easily, ignoring the guilt that is tearing at his insides as their teeth clash and he feels her tits heave underneath his callused fingertips.

Matty removes the bottle of what he has discovered is wine from the girl's hand before she drops it, taking a hefty swig of the bitter liquid instead of putting it down like he had originally intended. She snatches the container back from him once he's done, swallowing her own mouthful before dragging him in for another kiss, the flavor of the liquid mixing on their tongues headily, causing Matty to groan quietly into her mouth.

"Do you want to make this a bit more interesting?" the girl asks breathlessly once they pull apart.

Matty cocks his head silently, his heart pounding in his chest as she sits up and shifts off her tight jeans, pulling something out of the pocket as she does which Matty would recognize anywhere although it's been some time since he's partaken in it. The white crystals in the small bag capture his attention even more than the girl's shapely thighs and cute white panties.

Matty nods wordlessly when she cracks the seal, his voice dying in his throat as he watches her line up the fine powder. Matty is afraid of what he will say if he speaks, especially since he has George's words running through his head on a constant mantra, asking if Matty is really clean, if he means any of the promises he's made to George, which apparently he hasn't since he's breaking at least two of them right now.

But if George thinks Matty is a liar, then the least he can do is prove him right. George seems to expect Matty to fail, to think his sentiments mean nothing, so _fuck him_.

Matty doesn't need George, especially if he doesn't love him, so he might as well find happiness in the two things that have always been there for him, drugs and girls.

**_And now she's doing it all the time_ **  
**_Yeah, she's doing it all the time_ **

Matty swallows down the lump in his throat as he observes his companion deftly snort a line before shifting over so he can take his turn, her eyes watering a bit as she wipes at her nose delicately.

Matty takes one last moment to allow himself to back out of this. He shouldn't risk it - he's well aware of that. He knows how addictive this substance is, and he isn't strong enough to kick it twice, but at the same time, he isn't even sure why he got clean in the first place.

Well - he does, it was for _George_ of course. His bad habits have always bothered the younger man, and Matty wants to be better for him, to be worthy of him, but everything he has done still isn't enough, so Matty is done attempting to be the person George thinks he is.

Matty snorts up the line quickly, removing any chance at fixing the rift in his and George's tentative relationship. His nasal passage tingles and his vision blurs slightly as he accepts what he has done.

It's too late to change his actions now, so Matty is going to plow ahead full force. George can say whatever he likes to him, but this is his fault, he drove Matty to this, or at least that is what Matty is choosing to believe.

**_Slow down_ **  
**_Yeah, I want you_ **

Matty is just beginning to feel the effects of the drug when deft fingers start to tug at his waistband, skimming his tight jeans down his legs as his addled mind tries to catch up on what is happening.

Matty doesn't fight the girl when she pushes him back onto the bed, removing his pants entirely in the process as well as her top. His shirt which he had unbuttoned earlier flutters around his torso as he falls, the touch of the fabric against his skin feeling almost as good as the warm heat of the girl's mouth as she sinks down around his cock.

Matty gasps aloud as she sucks delicately on the head of his dick, her thick lashes fluttering as she stares up at him coyly. Matty's mind is reeling as pleasure washes over him, but as amazing as this is, it somehow still feels a bit wrong.

Matty is tempted to tell her to slow down, to give him a moment to process this sudden escalation. He isn't sure if his clean streak is making him more susceptible to the white powder racing through his system, or if it is something else, but he's not falling into this as easily as he typically does, and it's a bit disconcerting.

Matty remembers the days when he slept with a different girl every night, when George was only an occasion fuck buddy and not the singular person he went to sex for, but things have changed now, and Matty is shifting them once again with his own stupidity.

George is comfortable though, and Matty does love him despite everything that has occurred between them. Sex is great of course, but for once, Matty feels uneasy around a stranger, and he's not sure if he truly wants this to continue or not.

But George doesn't want him, they aren't even officially together, so Matty has no reason to stay faithful to him. He's sure George still does this occasionally, so Matty can too, he has no reason to abstain from other hookups, especially not after George had refused him this evening.

**_She does a little bit on the sly that shows what she's up to_ **  
**_She started talking about missing him_ **

So in the end, Matty keeps his mouth shut. This is what he wanted after all - or he _thought_ he did, so he lets the girl continue to tease him with her mouth. He briefly wishes he had asked for her name so he could know what to call her, but it doesn't really matter all that much, and she doesn't seem to care either way.

Matty throws his head back when she finally takes him down a bit deeper, her tongue brushing over the ticking vein pulsing against the back of his cock. A groan bubbles in his chest at the same time as a wash of disappointment sweeps over him.

Matty knows what is wrong, but he doesn't want to admit it, even though denying things to himself is a difficult task that Matty has yet to perfect.

The problem is that this girl - as lovely as she is, isn't _George_ , which shouldn't be an issue, but it is. She doesn't suck his cock like George does, she feels nothing like him, and Matty has become so accustomed to the other boy's touch that he has been spoiled by it.

George is always a bit rough with him, never too much, but he knows what Matty likes and what lines not to cross. When he gets Matty's cock in his mouth, he takes him to the back of his throat instantly, sucking so hard that Matty feels like George is trying to drag his soul out of him along with his come, leaving him shaking and vulnerable by the end of things.

And _god_ \- the way he fucks him. Matty loves how big George is, how full he feels when he's stuffed full of him, when he grabs his hair and makes Matty tell him how much he needs his dick, and apparently that's what he desires right now as well.

But Matty won't get that with this stranger, and as much as he appreciates a warm mouth and the bounce of her tits he can feel pushing against his thighs, he finds himself faking his reactions more than he has in ages.

Matty does manage to come despite his regrets, mostly because of the drugs that are heightening every sensation he feels more than the girl's skill. He moans loudly in appreciation so she won't realize that he isn't into this, he might be a twat, but he doesn't want to insult this girl.

**_She was glistening_ **  
**_It won't mend your heart if it's only a couple of lines_ **

When she sits up once Matty is empty, he finds himself moving on instinct. Matty doesn't want her, not anymore, he never really did, but she made him come, so he is compelled to return the favor, and the quicker she gets off, the sooner he can go back to the bus and mull over what has just happened.

Matty tugs down her panties which are already soaked, revealing her cunt that is shining with a wetness that Matty used to crave more than anything. He's become accustomed to cock now, but he remembers how to eat a girl out, so he buries his face in her folds, pretending to have the eagerness he used to feel even without the need for drugs.

The girl cries out loudly when Matty licks over her clit, her legs twitching around his head as he sucks on the delicate bud, drawing out the powerful sensations that are obviously already pushing her toward the edge.

Matty briefly wonders if she's ever been eaten out before, not that it matters to him, but she is so sensitive, even given the drugs in her system. It's advantageous for him either way, she's sure to come soon, then he can try to pretend this never occurred that much sooner.

Matty moves his tongue down lower, pushing it inside of her tight heat, moving his thumb up so he can continue to apply pressure to her clit. He can already feel her clenching around him, her breasts are heaving as he laps into her messily, her scent filling his nostrils as he does so.

She doesn't smell like George, not even close. Matty finds himself reminiscing on George's taste, his salty, musky tang that always fills his mouth and his lungs until Matty feels entirely consumed by George.

It's been weeks since Matty got his lips around George's cock, and he misses it more than he thought he did, it's only now when it's too late that he's willing to confess that.

**_And now she's doing it all the time_ **  
**_Yeah, she's doing it all the time_ **

Matty's companion comes while he's lost in his head, a rush of wetness splashing across his tongue as she shudders and cries out his name, her nails digging into his hair as she convulses above him.

That's something that George does as well, he always tugs on Matty's curls when he's close, and the small similarity has Matty pulling away rapidly, his eyes blinking repeatedly as if he can make George appear if he opens and closes them quickly enough.

But of course, George isn't here. Matty left him, Matty _betrayed_ him, even if George was asking for it. Matty sighs under his breath at his uses his shirt to clean off his chin, the high from the drugs already fading away under the weight of his guilt.

Matty has been eager to leave, but now he isn't ready to face George, who will surely be on the bus. He glances at the clock on the nightstand, checking that he still has time before they have to head to the next city, and when he sees that he does, he settles back down next to the pretty girl whose only fault is that she isn't George.

Matty doesn't want to be here, but he can't go back yet either. George knows him better than anyone, he'll instantly be able to see what he's been up to, and as much as Matty wanted to hurt him, he hates that he has.

At least this girl won't judge him, or rip his heart out, so Matty stays, letting her snuggle into his side with a groan of contentment, his fingers ghosting over her spine the same way George's always do when Matty curls up next to him, which is something that Matty wishes he could forget, along with this entire evening.


End file.
